Sunday Evening

Are Sundays when anxiety begins? I was so good this week-end compared to what I'd been and then after we got home from doing a few things I started to feel the anxiety in my belly again and don't really know what to do. I've taken my meds religiously, and I've been positive and felt loved and loved in return to the people who I've seen. But now I'm thinking it's going to return in the morning and I don't know if I can stand it. I've even been eating normally this week-end. Not as much, maybe, but eating without forcing myself.

What the fuck is this? Why does it come on Sundays? Because I'm going back to work tomorrow? Is it Paterson? Is it the college? Is it the people I work with? This week is a regular type of week. No make-up time, no testing, no presentations. Just routine stuff in the office.

Weather is nice today too. I was on the loveseat and lying in the sun that came in through the window and it felt lovely. I was hoping that would make me feel more relaxed. Maybe it did. I want to be ME. Just me.

I have no idea why there's a picture of a cat with dynamite on it. I am trying to learn how to use a blog better and can't get rid of that. Sorry.