Friends

Almost all of my friends, my real friends, live far away from me. Friends I can tell anything to, friends I feel at ease with, friends I love. They aren't near me geographically. We just left one of these friends about 45 minutes ago. She is a Florida friend who moved to Pennsylvania about four years ago. I don't see her often but her daughter (and husband and baby) moved to a town here in NJ about 25 minutes away so when she comes to see her daughter, we see her. And it's good. But today, when we left them, the anxiety hit like a brick, settling in my stomach like I had been eating all day long. It's still there and horrible. I can't even talk right now. Russell knows I've been suffering from anxiety since the kids left and knows that it lifted after Alyson called me yesterday to tell me she'd be here today and we could meet for lunch or whatever.

And now I'm back to knowing I only have one more day off before I have to go back to work. Can I deal with this? What should I do? Call the psychiatric nurse? Wait until Monday and call her? I'll think about it. I hate this so much. Absolutely hate it.