Typical Friday

Having Fridays off during the summer has its pros and cons. The major con is that we have to make up some of the hours - 45 hours altogether. I usually start making up time during the summer but this year the college assigned me to a different department to make up my hours and she hasn't given us anything to do yet. I am allowed to use some vacation time to make up hours but I don't like doing that. If they MAKE us take Fridays off, reduce our lunch hours to 30 minutes for over 4 months, and then still require that we make up time, there's just something wrong with that equation.

The pro is that I have Fridays off. Russell has taken a few off so that's nice, giving us an extra day together. But today he worked so I did my Friday routine - pedicure and library followed by eating things that are bad for me. Pedicures are something new for me. I had two done shortly after I moved here about six years ago and then didn't have another one until April so I could get ready for Patrick's wedding - or get my feet ready. So I've continued getting pedicures and I enjoy them. Today I got a nice colour and like looking at my toes. They massage my feet so nicely which is a little luxury in my world.

After stopping at the library and getting two books I chose not to buy over the past few months, I came home and played around on the computer and then ate chocolate. Then, in the afternoon, I slept. It felt good. I'd wake up for a little bit and then fall asleep again. And I read a book I bought last week.

So I am rested and have beautiful feet. A typical Friday. :o)

Shopping

This afternoon a friend of mine from work, Nina, and I took off together and went shopping. She and I have a lot of similar likes. Silver jewelry, nice clothes, books. I had found a wonderful jewelry shop that specializes in southwestern jewelry that I wanted to take her to so we decided to do it. First we went to the mall and had lunch at Legal Seafood, a Boston restaurant which is excellent. She'd never been there and she loved it even though we both had salads (Caesar for her and Cobb for me). Then we went to Coldwater Creek and looked at the jewelry and both found something on sale (a necklace for her - $7.99; a bracelet for me - $11.99). We looked around there some more and I found a perfect top for her that she fell in love with. She's small and it was so much fun "dressing" her. So she bought that too. We went to C.O. Bigelow's where she'd never been and she had fun looking at all the things there - make-up, hair stuff, lotions, soaps, etc. I had fun too. She bought some new lipstick. I got a couple tank tops on sale at Lane Bryant (where big women shop) and then we went to Borders. Neither of us bought any books today but we had a nice time looking around.

After that we headed out to the jewelry store which was not in the mall. It's called The Gem and I (cute, huh?). She fell in love with everything. This is not a cheap store but it's not overly priced either. She found a ring that looked beautiful on her hand. Silver with a sleeping beauty turquoise in it. I found a ring I liked too - one I'd been looking for for some time. Hard to describe but Russell said it was definitely me.

Why have I described this is such detail? Because I enjoyed myself. Nina and I have a nice balance and when I spend time with her (we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art together a few weeks ago) it feels normal. I guess I miss having friends to do things with. Having a husband is great, but he's not a woman so it's different when we shop for clothes. You know?

Nina and I are already planning our next trip to a town in Pennsylvania.

:o)

50 Cent

There is a movie being filmed outside of our building today. We're told it's 50 Cent making a movie. A couple co-workers and I walked out there and looked around but all we saw was a big trailer that had been moved in and parked along the street and a canopy set up with food underneath it. No 50 Cent person. It was hot and muggy so we left and came back into our cool office and had lunch.

This is my question - why would someone change his name to 50 Cent and then call his son 25 Cent?

Never mind.

Here's my other question: Is yogurt good for you? I love key lime flavored yogurt and Breyer's makes a wonderful, low-fat, one. Only 80 calories. Is this something I should enjoy more often?

Your advice is most appreciated.

:o)

Summers Past

I think a lot about my Florida summers. I think about how things were at work at the prison as well as how things were on vacations and on week-ends. I remember driving down to another prison in the middle of summer to see a former asst. warden. I went with my good friend and he and I traveled through the middle of the state which has no development whatsoever if you're in south Florida. It's mostly farmland and lots of kudzu covering trees on the side of the two-lane roads we had to take. But it was a good day. We were cool in the car and always had good conversations. I'd forgotten about that trip until a few years ago. Strange how many things seem to fade away and since I've moved up here have returned again.

I think about sitting by my pool, reading a good book and getting into the pool whenever I got too hot not to be wet. A lot of times I would stand in the pool and lean against the edge and read for long periods of time. My tans were beautiful back then. Now I have no tan that shows. I have no place to be out of doors in the sun and be comfortable here.

I think about St. Augustine and the times we spent there for vacation. I remember watching my son ride his bike on the beach when he was quite young - six or seven. He would pedal and pedal, faster and faster, and get far ahead of me as I walked along the beach and then he would make a u-turn and come back towards me with a huge smile on his face and the wind blowing his hair back so you could see that smile and see the joy the beach gave him.

I miss Florida summers whether I was working or not, at home or away. I wonder if I'll ever miss anything about New Jersey when I escape from here. I can't imagine.

Seesaw

Up and down. Up and down. Yesterday I didn't talk as much as I usually do. Same thing today, thus far. I don't want to be bothered. I just want to be left alone. But I do talk. When I see someone I know I speak to them. When I see someone I know I smile at them. But as soon as we've passed each other, the smile disappears. Different from the past. Not a real smile.

I could go back to bed right now and sleep for a few hours, but I'm at work so that's not going to happen.

There is no balance right now - something that is very important to me. Or maybe there is. Maybe this is the balance I will have to deal with for the time being. Just a low-key sort of thing. We'll see. . .

A Short Hint of Autumn

Breezy this morning making me think of Autumn. I used to love the change of the weather but now it's just the warning of the cold to come. But I'll survive it. Sometimes I think about all the things I can get rid of when I move south again - coats and sweaters, but then I realize it gets pretty cold in Atlanta - just doesn't last as long.

Weird dreams last night - dreamed my husband died but he was with his "family" (who don't actually exist in reality) and they called and told me he was dead and I was very worried about whether I'd have any money to move to Atlanta. And then I was scared that I was going to be alone and didn't know what to do. I woke up and reached over and, of course, he was there.

I also had a dream that I was getting married. It was the past and I was with a man who I'd had a very beautiful relationship with (and who is still a close friend).

Dreams are sometimes so far away when you wake up and other times so close. I wonder why.

I'm trying to drink less caffeine to see if that affects my anxiety. A friend of mine suggested it and he's a very smart person so I thought I'd try. Last night we went to get a slice of pizza for dinner and I took a caffeine-free diet coke with me. I had very little caffeine with me all day and feel pretty good today so we'll see. But I guess I should eat less chocolate too, huh? Bummer.

Still considering buying a Kindle. The more I read about it the better it sounds. We'll see. :o)

A New Month

Where did July go? If you find it, please send it back. I don't understand why summer goes by so quickly even with the heat and humidity. It's easier than winter for me.

Feeling stronger yesterday and today. I added the picture of my son on the front page of my blog as you probably noticed (not that very many people read my blog, which is okay). It was taken by his Aunt Karen when he was about 18 months old. This picture gives me strength and balance. It's like he's looking into my soul.

Karen died in January, 2005. I still miss her every single day.