Anxiety Sucks

I hate it so much. Hate this feeling I have in my tummy that makes me feel as though something is going to happen or that something has happened. It's like when something scares you but nothing has scared me that I can think of.

I had such a great time in Cape May. We met JoAnn, an online friend I've been talking to for over 8 years. She picked us up at the Cape May-Lewes Ferry on the Lewes, Delaware side and we drove around Lewes seeing things I'd never seen before. It was so easy meeting her and talking to her. We went to lunch and walked around for awhile before heading back to the ferry. JoAnn and I have a lot in common and a lot not in common so it's a good balance in my opinion.

The next couple of days were very windy and it was difficult to be on the beach with the sand blowing against me but I got some sun and then sat on the porch where we were staying and read and got more sun there. It was nice. No anxiety at all. Until yesterday, the day we left. I woke up feeling anxious. It wasn't too bad but today it's been with me all day, even with my meds. This sucks. Big time. I have no self-control to do whatever it is I need to do to make things feel calmer.

Back to work on Monday. Nothing bad awaiting me, but I don't want to go. What do I want to do? Go to see my son? Go to Florida? Quit my job? Sleep a lot? I may go to bed early tonight since Russell has to - he's going into work early tomorrow and has to leave at 3 a.m. so he'll be in bed very early tonight and I may just go then and read. Makes me feel safer, I think.

Sigh. And life goes on.