The anxiety returns without warning. Last week was good. Had a lovely week-end. Maybe I get anxious after having a good time and then everything turning back to the old routine of work? I don't have a clue. Things at work are all right. Russell and I are great. Is it just living here? Is that all it is? Will it go away if, no WHEN, I get the hell out of this god forsaken place? I'll have to wait months and months to find out.
I love it when my friends send me encouragement. I print their comments or their emails and put them on my bulletin board. I read them and pull strength from them.
I'm glad when Russell gets home from work (now he gets home after I do so I have to wait for him). It feels safer when he's near.
I want each day to be normal, regular. Whatever you want to call it. I don't want to wake up and feel this roiling in my stomach and then have these brain farts that I didn't have for over a week when we went to Florida and last week after we got home. Then, after about 4 or 5 days I started having them again but not as strong.
I don't want to say "life sucks" because it doesn't. But these anxiety spells do. Big time. And I wish I could find something to fix them forever. Send me your prayers, your thoughts, your beautiful words if you have any to share with me. I love them and need them.
:o/
3 comments:
No beautiful words, just to tell you that I have often disliked places where I lived. But I was younger and had a lot else to deal with and think about in regard to the kids.
Just think of how damn ungodly hot it is now in FL !!!!
I'll do my best to find beauty and joy in the cool front as it moves through tonight. Thanks for the encouragement! :o)
I really can't speak to this anxiety thing. But as I have said before, I occasionally feel inexplicably sad -- like I don't deserve what I have.
Just know that I am thinking of you with happy thoughts.
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